raspberry swirl...

Experiment 5- To Swirl or Not To Swirl

Swirl- v 1: turn in a twisting or spinning motion; "The leaves swirled in the autumn wind" [syn: twirl, twiddle, whirl]

Premise: during an otherwise super-busy period, a working week-end turned into a free week-end;
Ingredients of the w/d:
- random clothes shopping;
- challenging personal chats;
- beautiful time with my friends;
- movies: The Motorcycle Diaries (road-trippin’ South America with Che Guevara- in my top favs), Black (Indian drama- for giving it a shot to understand what’s beyond senses) and Cidad de Deus (for a slap back into the real world –Brazilian favelas);
- Some friends over at my place and me cooking (Indian food included as always ;));
- Very little sleep and plenty of intensity.

Exactly one year ago I was in my traineeship in India and took a trip to Kannya Kumari or Cape Comorin, the land's end of India, where three oceans meet. I took a small boat and traveled to a tiny island close to the shore. It was a rather windy day, with clouds running up in the sky and illusive sunshine. I stood there, all-water round and the whole of India lying in front of me and I felt peace. And as I was breathing I became aware of every single second being built inside me... And I felt so alive, so lucky and so much like... belonging.

I am grateful, as despite life’s usual madness and swirls, that feeling never left me. If I stand still for a while, I can always feel the seconds building me up and I can always feel like belonging. This week-end was mad, crazy, slightly irresponsible, cool, fun, thought-provoking, beautiful, and intense! But nevertheless I feel like I lived every single second of it and let it build me further. So, without any further comments but with strong flash-backs of the India inside me, the choice of the day is definitely TO SWIRL! As these days the peace inside me is the very core of the mad swirl I generate outside me, no fears, no second thoughts, no regrets.

big stained glass by Peter Kabello

Home...

Home- A place where one lives; a residence.
A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.
An environment offering security and happiness.
A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

Hypothesis:
8 cities
9 hotels
16 nights out of Bucharest
50 coffees
400 new people met
1200 km by plane
3500 km by car
...my last 30 days... the month of October

I was out in Sinaia a few days ago and as I was walking through the cold night with Indian music in my headphones, heading for yet another training course, I suddenly remembered a quote I love lots: "...home is where your heart is..."

Since 2000 when I left my parents' house I moved 10 times, traveled extensively, lived in India for 6 months and I am nothing but a mild case compared to some of my friends... One of them used to say that this type of lifestyle "fucks up your definition of home..." Well, I can definitely say for myself that what I see as home is nowhere near to what you can read above, the standard definition. As I live in so many places, no household whatsoever, not seeking security but rather challenging it, valuing freedom and unsettlement and finding happiness and refuge in what I do, in the thoughts I pass on in training, in my friends and the constant discoveries and development I go through.

It has been a crazy, beautiful October! And it made me remember once more that my home is where my soul is... And my soul is spread in more than 5 countries across 3 continents, along with my dearest friends... My soul is spread across the country with the people I met during sessions... My soul is still lingering in the AIESEC office in Bucharest... And a piece of my soul is still left and shall forever stay in my parents' house. And all these pieces, when put together like a stained glass, make up my magic, colorful home! Thanks to all of you again! And may the journey go on with at least the intensity it had so far...

october perspectives from a hotel room...

Different but the Same

These days I'm attending a hot-shot Customer Service Conference in Bucharest, said to be the first one around here.
The general cool thing about it is that it's being run by a cool guy named Chris Daffy that also speaks of many ideas that belong to some other kick-ass guys that I like: Tom Peters, Ken Blanchard, Jack Welch, Kjell Nordstrom (the "Funky Business" guy), Herb Keller of SouthWestAirlines just to mention my top favourites.
The particulary cool things are moments like discussing about Trust as the Vital Element of Any Relationship in the context of generating Un-forgettable Customer Experiences and than expanding the discussion to Unique Interpersonal Experiences and Relationships and Trust-Based Country 2 Country relationships.

I'm an idealist, I know, but it's the "shortcoming" I love most about myself! It's where most my energy lies! It's what generates my passion and drive for having and generating beautiful experiences myself, for seeking to teach others of the tremendous beauty of trust, of love, of passion and of giving well before demanding. And it is my firm belief that if I instill something into a couple of persons today and a few more tomorrow and there are more and more of us doing that daily we should eventualy stand a chance of sustainable survival...

So, yeah, apparently different subjects, different people, different approaches but revolving around the same, same, same words: Experience. Beauty. Passion. Energy. Trust. Fun. Innovation. Growth. Love. All my favourite colours of the soul!

Experiment 4- Peace vs. Revolution

Another week-end in the mountains. Great trainings! And the first snow. Had a zero energy Saturday, feeling as if all my energy resources have been drained. Chilled. Woke up up on Sunday morning, with snow-covered mountain tops in front of my eyes and all I could feel inside was a deep, blessed peace. As if my inner universe had found a perfect balance with the outer one. Why? Why then? No clue. I had sought this feeling for a while now, I had anticipated it and as it came I let myself be filled by it.
Otherwise, all is revolution and energy. It's the best mixture these days between peace and sweet enrgetic revolutions. Had my first solo corporate attitude training today. Well, not exactly solo but even better, with Pode, my colleague. Still, without the "seniors". Just the kids rocking the place. And it did rocked! Big time!
This time around, I choose both peace and revolution. Might sound like the weirdest mix but that's definitely the mix I'm made of these days! And feel like there's no better way to be!

So much for “Things as we know them...”

I had a brilliant week-end! Theoretically, a team building project. Practically, a w/d filled with the oddest contradictions...
- a group of 100 people, male-majority, can’t-wait-to-PARTY type, being checked-in in a monastery; ah, sorry, the Hotel of an Orthodox Monastery, 10 meters away from the church within the monastery!
- the idea itself of the monastery having a hotel and organizing corporate conferences; one step too far from their Core-Work on my opinion;
- having a simulation where people were “digging” for virtual gold when next door priests were having a “parastas” (religious sermon for celebrating a dead person);
- “humble” priests with luxurious BMWs and Mercedes cars;
- rooms with icon-filled walls and Schalke’04 and Rapid Wien bedsheets.

In between the spiritual and pragmatic vibes of the place, one conclusion came to my mind again: systems suck when overused, when old and dusty and so far away from whatever essence they might have been born from hundreds of years ago...
On the other hand, things move so fast around us and oddity is nothing but common landscape, unexpected is what we should expect and “Things as we know them...” is rather an historical statement than an expression of the present times.
The worse we can do is expect things to become “normal” again. To expect revolutions of religion, culture, philosophy, life-style or economy is slightly better/ more realistic. To see and go along with the revolutionary waves of human mind, social context and environmental awareness guarantees survival.
But to free yourself from anything “as you know it” and revolutionize yourself, imagine, build, challenge and destroy only to re-imagine beyond and retake the process is the only thing that takes you beyond bare survival!

PS: there’s one brilliant guy that my thoughts get back to each time the word “revolution” comes to my mind: Tom Peters! To check out some of his radical ideas: http://tompeters.com/pdfs/tomato-082005.pdf
PPS: Faithless is also a recommendation in terms of re-imagining the future: “More oneness, less categories, Open hearts, no strategies. Decisions based upon faith and not fear. People who live right now and right here. I want the wisdom that wise men revere.” Do dare!

autumn beauty. beyond words.

Experiment 3- Emotional Chaos vs. Consolidated Friendships

I guess all chaos started when I was 16. Or maybe it all started the day I was born... either way, let alone the philosophy behind it, here’s the hypothesis: every single boyfriend I had, without exception, has been before that a good friend of mine. And after that... Well, the balance being broken it all usually drifted into emotional chaos. At least for a while. Varying from one week to four years so far. Ah, there were some definite casualties too...
Being in a super-reflective mood after some great chat with my dearest friend Gabitza a couple of days ago, I was tempted to rephrase the facts above mentioned into a self-accusing statement like, “Why the hell do I insist on fu..ing up (literally as well) nice, balanced friendships?”. And as I am usually a zealous girl in most things I love to do, I even tried different possible versions of the story: I am loved but don’t love back, chaos-end of story, I am in love but not loved back, chaos-end of story, we’re both in love for a while but then the timing is wrong and we want something else, chaos- end of story.

If I should think of one word to define friendship that would be balance. If I should think of one word to define most of my relationships that would be commotion. And what do you normally get when you take balance and put it through commotions? Chaos. Namely, emotional chaos. And that was the thin ice I felt like skating on at times...

Still... as time goes by and (arguably) I grow wiser, I found that there’s an even deeper balance in a friendship that broke barriers, got its share of commotions and still survived. As being in a relationship is not merely about racing hearts or burned calories but plenty of discoveries. Like rereading the book that you like but seeing in between the rows as well. And being able to keep close a book so filled with hidden meanings but yet so familiar... it’s the sweet taste of reading half of your favorite passages and closing your eyes and reciting the other half. And that was the feeling I got when receiving a three lines mail a few days ago but seeing more beyond as well and that was the taste of the phone call I got today but hearing more than the audible words.

And so I thought... That the emotional chaos, although present at one point, is not the finality but part of the process, is not a destroyer but a shaper. I cherish my friendships a lot. And I believe that they are one of my biggest assets. But I ceased mourning over the lost ones. And I ceased blaming myself for that. As I believe that authenticity does not reside in how things are when balanced and sunny but in their consistency after commotions as well.
My choice for the day? Enjoy the emotional chaos! You never know what it might bring about! And a deep bow in respect to my consolidated friendships that not only survived getting in bed but getting out of bed as well! Yeah, and thanks to my other friends as well! For we found many other less confusing ways to consolidate our friendships!

PS: A nice book on how different our life journeys can be but still lead us to discover the same truth: “Narcis and Golden-mouth” by Hesse. Reminded me about how we should not judge the people around through our own lenses and how we should not judge ourselves through others’ lenses either.
PPS: A few minutes ago, a friend of mine was telling me how his father (that meet me last week) just liked me so much as in to suggest that I could be a good fit for his son. The utmost of irony that first came to my mind was that, drawing the line, I guess there have been more mothers& fathers that fell for me rather than their sons ;). So maybe the creative solution would actually be for me to change my target age-segment! :P Keep me informed on eligible bachelors aged 45 upwards :P :P :P!